My how my thoughts on Halloween have changed over the past years.  Halloween was always my least favorite night of the year.  As I'm sure you can imagine, it wasn't easy for me to struggle walking from house to house in the evening and carrying a bag of candy didn't help the task any.  I always felt conflicted.  I didn't want to try and change into a costume (getting dressed was a difficult task) and my walking only got worse as the day went on.  At the same time, I didn't want to sacrifice time with my friends and ALL that candy!  I always struggled through Halloween trick-or-treating, but I was always glad I did the next day as I'd sort out the piles of different chocolate. 

When my girls were young, I would ride my scooter with them, but could never go to the door with them.  Those few stairs from the driveway to the door always blocked my view of the girls ringing the door bell and eagerly taking candy.  However, I was just happy I had a scooter so I could go with them and not stay back home.  The kids didn't notice that mommy was a few feet behind them. 

Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I could walk from house to house trick-or-treating and not feel the urge to stop.  Now I truly get why all my classmates LOVED Halloween.  What's not to love!  I bet we covered a mile of houses and the girls each have several pounds of candy.  To say I am thrilled that Winona and Sharon can enjoy Halloween would be an understatement and I feel so blessed that they are nice healthy kids.  Life doesn't get any better than this. 

I had quite the busy evening!  I had conferences at school at 4pm (both girls are doing fantastic), brought Winona to basketball practice at 5:30 and Sharon to Girl Scouts at 6pm.  Even though it was hectic, I couldn't help but take the time to appreciate that I could drive my girls AND walk them inside to their events.        It wasn't long ago that I had to ask others to help me drive so my girls could be involved with sports and other activities.  So, tonight I am feeling especially grateful for my crazy busy life.

I am trying really hard to get everything done around here.  It's physically easier to complete the tasks, but I am expecting too much from myself.  That's when the stress begins to kick in and my muscles begin to ache.  There isn't enough time in the day for me to accomplish everything and I haven't yet learned how to handle this. 

I have to figure this out because my hamstrings have been cramping up and are beginning to stiffen.  It's also affecting my arms which are have been sore for well over a week.  I have to slow down and let myself know that it's okay if everything doesn't get done.  As long as I have young kids, I won't have a clean house.  At least not for longer than an hour at a time.  I have to make sure I take care of myself.  If I don't reduce this stress, I will only do more harm to my body.  I have more responsibilities than I have ever had before.  There has to be a balance and it's going to be up to me to figure out exactly what that is.  I'm sure in time I will come to a conclusion.  I just hope it is sooner than later.

I have to make this entry a quick one since I have vegetable beef soup on the stove and turkey meat loaf and squash in the oven.  Yes, it has been a VERY busy afternoon of cooking for me.  I have been on a soup kick.  In the past week I made split pea with ham, chicken and rice soup and now vegetable beef soup.  I love that I can shop for the ingredients and then come home and chop them all up!  It is such a gift to have the abilities to stand at the kitchen counter and peel, chop and slice for over an hour.  I'm thinking my next feast should be a potatoes soup of some kind.  I'd love to hear your suggestions.  Oh, and don't worry if you think it's too difficult or time consuming.  I'm up for the challenge.  In fact, I can't wait.  I must add that I also made banana bread today and the girls loved it! 

When Winona walked through the door she commented on how wonderful it smelled in here.  It reminded me of when I would come through the door after a long day at school.  My mom was a really good cook and the house was always full of flavor.  I'm so grateful that I to can create happy memories for my girls.

My wonderful mother-in-law just reminded me that it was two years ago today that I wore heels for the first time.  I decided to wear them to my sister-in-laws wedding simply because I could!  After having them on for a couple hours, I realized that heels are very over rated.  My toes were in pain and I decided to toss the shoes to the side.  I substituted them with the flip flops and was just as happy because that to was a shoe I could never wear! 

Last night Steve and I went to a dinner party for his work.  Before we left, I took an extra dose of my medication assuming that I would be standing quite a bit through out the evening.  I'm glad that I listened to my gut, because I found myself standing in a crowded room for well over an hour.  Luckily for me, my balance was just fine and I didn't find myself swaying back and forth.  I could not help but think back to all the parties I've been to in the past for Steve's work. 

Back in the day, Steve would help me into the event and find me a chair to sit in.  He would always stay by me, but we were never able to mingle with all the guests.  Plus, I would always feel a little out of place being the only person not standing. 

Even though I didn't know anyone at the party last night, it was nice to know that I didn't stick out like a sore thumb.  In fact, I don't know that anyone there even knew that there is something phsyically wrong with me.  They don't know my past and probably won't ever know what I had to endure and I find that unbelievable.  Thinking about that puts a smile on my face.

This past weekend I was given an amazing gift.  It wasn't a vacation, jewelry or even a large amount of cash.  I was given the opportunity to run and jump in the leaves with my two amazing daughters.  I can't put it to words how happy I felt, so I thought I would just share the video.  I know I may look silly and childlike, but that is just one more reason I think this is so special.   

Yesterday I made chocolate chip cookies with the girls.  It was the first time I made cookies with out the help of my mom or Steve.  I was always able to measure and mix the ingredients  but I was never able to take the cookies in and out of the oven.  Plus, I would have never been able to use a spatula to remove the cookies from the hot cookie sheets

For the past week, I've been wanting to make cookies, but I really wanted to wait until the girls could do it with me.  They did such a great job measuring and mixing and I was so happy that the three of us could make this memory together.  It reminded me of being a little girl and helping my mom when she baked cookies.  Those were some of the best times in my life and now I can do the same thing with my daughters. 

The other day Sharon asked me to put her in a pony tail for school.  Gladly, I had her sit down with me and did her hair.  To most mom's this would be a chore.  I was delighted that I could hold a brush with ease and wrap a rubber band into her hair.  Not only was I able to do it, it looked really cute!

When the girls were toddlers I wasn't able to do their hair.  It was always left up to either my mom or Steve. I never got to enjoy putting piggy tails in their hair.  The fact is their too old for that now and I missed out.  Of course, you know me; I have to look on the bright side.  My husband is the BEST at doing little girls hair!  I don't think there are too many dads that can put a pony tail in their daughters hair and my husband can even do braids! 

I know the girls won't look back and say, "my mom never did my hair."  Instead, they will look back and know that their dad did a wonderful job making sure they left the house looking as cute as can be and I think that's wonderful.