As I sit here working on my 45 min speech that I will be giving next week, I can't help but think "How did I get here?" When I think back to everything I have been through medically, it doesn't feel like it was me. In fact, when I talk to friends or family about my past, I sometimes refer to myself as "she." Isn't that odd?
As I've been working on editing and organizing my book, I feel bad for the little girl who had to endure so many challenges. She was so strong and had such a positive outlook on life. And then I realize, that was me!
Daily, I try to be like that happy go lucky girl I knew so well back in the 80's and 90's. She didn't sweat the small stuff. It didn't matter to her what people thought about her. All that mattered was that she was happy. If I really think about her story, I can learn so much from her. As I become more "normal" and fret the small things at times, I make myself reflect on who I was. I don't want to stress about things that won't matter ten years from now. I want to make sure I take time to enjoy every little thing life throws my way. I think we could all learn from that little girl with the knee knock walk. I know I will.
I have been entertaining the idea of becoming a motivational speaker. I know, I know, for those of you who went to high school with me, you are thinking, "This girl is CRAZY!"
Back in High School, I couldn't stand in front of the class, much less do it while talking. My nerves would get the best of me and the focus would be on my shaking, rather than my words. I am proud to say, that I have come a long way since then. I actually enjoyed my public speaking class in college and looked forward to presentations! Unreal!
I know that I'd like to give speaking a shot, but really feel that I need to complete my book first. Plus, I'm not sure how my body will respond to speaking on a regular basis. I phsyically don't do well when I am under stress or am lacking sleep. That's just part of my DRD.
Anyway, I was approached by my a friend, who is also a medical student out East, to speak to his class about my experiences with medical staff and life as a disabled person. I am honored that he felt I had something important to share with future physicians. I always believed that I was put on this Earth with limitations for a reason. Maybe, this speaking engagement will go really well and I will follow my dreams to become a speaker. Time will tell. In the meantime, I will continue to give thanks for all of my blessings.