is it me?

As I sit here working on my 45 min speech that I will be giving next week, I can't help but think "How did I get here?"  When I think back to everything I have been through medically, it doesn't feel like it was me.  In fact, when I talk to friends or family about my past, I sometimes refer to myself as "she."  Isn't that odd? 

As I've been working on editing and organizing my book, I feel bad for the little girl who had to endure so many challenges.  She was so strong and had such a positive outlook on life.  And then I realize, that was me!

Daily, I try to be like that happy go lucky girl I knew so well back in the 80's and 90's.  She didn't sweat the small stuff.  It didn't matter to her what people thought about her.  All that mattered was that she was happy.  If I really think about her story, I can learn so much from her.  As I become more "normal" and fret the small things at times, I make myself reflect on who I was.  I don't want to stress about things that won't matter ten years from now.  I want to make sure I take time to enjoy every little thing life throws my way.  I think we could all learn from that little girl with the knee knock walk.  I know I will.