I made a quick run to the store today. As I was pushing my cart towards the checkout I saw a woman about my age riding a mobility scooter provided by the store. As I watched her ride away from me, all I could think was, "that used to be me."
I have no idea why I have been blessed with so much in my life. I will never be able to thank God enough for all he has given me. My friends and family were always there for me when I needed them most. And still are. I know I don't say it often enough, "Thank you."
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This past weekend we went to the cabin (baby John's first visit). When Steve pulled into our parking spot, at the top of the hill, I got out of the 4Runner and grabbed John and his car seat. I began carrying the heavy car seat down the hill to our cabin. Halfway down the hill, I realized that not only was I walking down the hill without assistance, but I was also carrying a 10+ lbs in my arms.
The first five years we owned the cabin I was not physically capable of walking up or down the hill that leads to our home away from home. Steve always had to take my arm and at times carry me up the hill. At that time, I had absolutely no independence at our lake place.. It amazes me how far I have come since my new diagnosis. As I walked down the hill carrying my son all I could think about was that I used to be carried down the hill, but now I am the one carrying a heavy baby down without the fear of wondering if I will make it. God is wonderful! On May 20th, I was blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby boy that we named John Stephen. I always find it so amazing how fast you can love another human being. I also can not believe how much easier it is this time around. Like my daughters, baby John is a really good baby. He eats well and sleeps well. Because my mobility is so much better than it was when my girls were born, I find true enjoyment feeding this little guy at 3am. My legs can walk me to the kitchen to make his bottle and my hands allow me to easily change his dirty diapers. It was so challenging taking care of the girls. I could do it all, but it would take me so much longer to snap up there sleepers and fasten their diapers. I may have three children now, but today was the first day that I ever gave an infant a bath. Steve always took care of that for me in the past. Even though John cried the whole time, I loved EVERY second of it and can't imagine ever forgetting that I did it on my own. My life is very busy taking care of two girls (ages 10 and 8) and my one week old son, but I can honestly say that I have never been this happy. I have everything I could ever want: a great husband, three healthy kids and a safe place we can call home. I wouldn't want to trade places with anyone else in the world and thank God for all the wonderful gifts He has given me. It's really hard to believe that I was diagnosed nearly two years ago. Good Friday will mark the day that changed my life forever. I was so skeptical that day. I wasn't even going to fill the prescription thinking that there was no way I would ever live a 'normal' life, but here I am doing exactly that.
People often ask me if I'm angry that it took the doctors so long to correctly diagnosis me (33 years). I don't know how I could possibly be angry that I now have so many more capabilities. If it wasn't for the correct diagnosis, I would not be pregnant with my third child. How do I answer their question? The answer is simple, at least it is to me. I grew up as a very happy girl in an unbelievable loving and supportive family. My parents pushed me to do things that were physically challenging, yet I always gave it my best. Plus, I always had a lot of good friends. It was all of my life experiences (good and bad) that made me the person I am today and I like me. Who knows who I would be today if I didn't grow up with the wrong diagnosis. I have to be honest though, I don't know if she would have been as happy as I am. Why? I probably wouldn't have gone to Winona State University where I met my wonderful husband, Steve. Therefore, I wouldn't have my daughter's Winona and Sharon. Everything that I had to endure to make me the person I am today was well worth it!! Thanks for all of the support! I look forward to sharing even more with you over the next year. This past weekend I went to a family reunion. I enjoyed visiting with those who I only see at weddings and funerals. I must say that it was kind of weird seeing them in shorts and t-shirts. Anyway, we took time out of the day to take group photos. The last photo that was to be taken was of the entire group.
Since everyone's cameras were running low on batteries, I was asked if we could use mine. Everyone took their place for the photo and I quickly tried to figure out how to set my cameras' timer to take a photo. As soon as I knew everyone was ready, I asked where I was supposed to jump in. The answer was up front, right next to my niece, Becca. I stood behind my camera, looked through the lens and then pushed the button to take the photo. Then it was time to run! I ran as fast as my flip flops would take me, sat down next to my dear niece. crossed my legs and smiled with a second to spare. How is it possible that I did this? In the past, someone would have had to help me walk to where I would have to pose for the picture. Not this time. I did it and on my own,. So, when I look at this photo of me sitting up front, with a big smile on my face, I know that it's much more than a family photo. I also have a pretty good idea that my grandparents saw the whole thing from heavan and that makes my heart smile. |
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