living the dream

As a little girl and teenager I always told myself and others that I didn't want children.  That was not true and I knew that deep down inside.  The truth was that I wanted to have three children because I came from a wonderful family with two siblings.  I wanted the same thing, but didn't know if it was possible.  I didn't want to let myself down. 

When I was 25 I was blessed with a baby girl.  The problem was that my pregnancy was so physically demanding for someone suffering with Spastic Dipigia (I talk about this more in my book).  I didn't know if I could live through another pregnancy.  However, I knew that I could not let my daughter be an only child either.  So, we had another baby two years later.

The two pregnancies put such a toll on my body that I knew that a family of four would have to be good enough.  The family with three children could no longer be my dream and the smiles, hugs and laughter from my two girls would be wonderful. 

I am now 35 years old and the life I used to live is no longer mine.  It's better!   At times, I'm not sure whose body I'm living in.  I can do things that I never thought imaginable such as walking with ease, driving at night, cooking, cleaning and so much more.  I'm living out some of my childhood dreams that I never thought possible, including having the third child.  Yes, I am elated to tell you that Steve and I are going to have baby #3 in May. 

So far this pregnancy is a piece of cake compared to the first two I endured.   Don't get me wrong I'm still sick every day, but I don't need to be taken care of.  Instead, I am still able to take care of my family and  understand what my friends' pregnancies were like.  More importantly, I have discovered how strong of a woman I was to not only live through a terrible pregnancy once, but to do it all again so Winona wouldn't be an only child.  I have to be honest, as I look back I don't know how I did it.